to be a ghost
on the art of hikikomori and vanishing
I believe there's an art to it. Intentionally fading away in the dark, clutching and drowning embrace of not just your abode but your mind. When your mind rewires itself to draw back all form of life it emits and to channel that energy into a vicious cycle of recharge and burn out and recharge and burn out over and over again.
There's, undeniably, an art to it.
Wikipedia defines ‘hikikomori’ as
a state that involves cooping oneself up in one’s own home and not participating in society for six months or longer, but that does not seem to have another psychological problem as its principal source
I read a beautiful book titled Hikikomori, Adolescence Without End by Tamaki Saitō where he dives in dept into the science behind it.
There are a lot of factors that lead to the portrayal of the attributes associated with hikikomori. Amongst others, one of these factors, I’d like to expand on; individual factors.
Individual psychological vulnerabilities can also predispose a person to hikikomori. These may include a history of bullying, academic or social failures, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, or pre-existing mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, or developmental disorders like autism spectrum disorder, although hikikomori itself is not solely defined by these conditions. Personality traits such as introversion, high sensitivity, perfectionism, or a strong fear of shame and failure can make individuals more susceptible to social withdrawal in the face of perceived social pressures or setbacks. Saitō's concept of "adolescence without end" suggests that some individuals in hikikomori are stuck in a prolonged adolescent state, unable to transition to adult roles and responsibilities. The experience of shame and social stigma associated with not conforming to societal expectations often becomes a powerful force maintaining the withdrawal. Individuals may feel a profound loss of self-worth and develop a deep-seated fear of judgment from others.
Wikipedia
Saitō correctly pointed out that a strong fear of shame and failure can make individuals more susceptible to social withdrawal and prolonged solitary confinement.
Not just the fear of failure but the fear of being seen failing and the shame that ensues as a result of being seen failing.
I recall a video I watched made by Rebecca Bloom where she talked on how people aren't necessarily afraid of failing but are more terrified of being seen failing.
She went on to say that it's understandable because a more private life you would notice that we fail a good amount of times as humans because we are not burdened with the shame that comes with it. Like skipping multiple workout sessions in a row or not meeting up to a deadline you set therefore procrastinating etc.
For these people, the strong fear of being seen failing is enough to dissuade them from even trying and ultimately pulling in to themselves.
I would also agree with Saitō where he pointed out that the concept of ‘adolescence without end’ simply suggests that some individuals in hikikomori are stuck in a prolonged adolescent state of irresponsibility and lack of motivation and discipline, essentially unable to transition to adult roles and responsibilities.
deeper into the factor of bullying and how it influences the mindset
To bully and to be bullied. To beat and to be beaten. In the minds of the doer and the done-to, what might be their perspective? What might be their belief? What might be the truth they hold steadfast to?
In a wonderfully written book by Mieko Kawakami, we veer very closely to the mind of a certain bullier and bullied. In the words of the inflicter of pain, Momose, we find that he believes there is no meaning to life, possesses a ‘stronger-eats-the-weaker’ mindset and exhibits an inherent lack of empathy. Momose frames the bullying as a brutal truth, stating that "the weak can't handle reality. They can't deal with the pain or sadness, let alone the obvious fact that nothing in life actually has any meaning". To him, cruelty is a display of power and a consequence of the inherent meaninglessness he believes exists in the world.
The bullied? He is called ‘eyes,’ the very reason he is being bullied; his lazy eye. Eyes sees the world in black and white. He sees the world from the philosophical standpoint of ‘there will always be those above and thise below and those below will be stepped on.’ Eyes has grown accustomed to the idea of suffering, which he believes is a natural part of existence for the weak, who are fundamentally different from the dominant, stronger individuals.
Heaven by Mieko Kawakami challenges different perspectives on life. Centered around nihilism and fatalism, Heaven spreads more light on how individual factors take part in the process of becoming a hikikomori.
But to think of how blissful it must be to these individuals.
Of course to those who are deemed normal by societal standards, these people require urgent medical attention and rehabilitation but to the vitcins of hikikomori, it may be a whole different reality.
Their lives as the third-point of view has a whole lot of meaning and a whole new level of stability.
To watch and not be watched. To see and not be seen.
There's a certain luxury to that. The luxury of seeing, observing but in turn not being noticed at all. To live life in deep, tilted shadows and to watch the world and every passerby unravel before your eyes.